Day 3 — Hold the Grudge, Lose the Grace
- Dr. Michael Stallings
- Oct 17
- 2 min read
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Hold the Grudge, Lose the Grace
Ephesians 4:31–32 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.
Grudges are easy to collect and hard to release.
They start small—a snub, a betrayal, a harsh word—and before long, we’re carrying around silent resentment that festers into bitterness. Paul is clear: if you're going to live like Christ, you can’t cling to old offenses. You have to choose grace over grudge. The longer we hold on to bitterness, the less room we have for love.
Unforgiveness changes us. It hardens our hearts, poisons our words, and makes us reactive instead of redemptive. If you're walking around snapping at people, skeptical of motives, and joyless in your interactions, check your heart—you may be spiritually constipated by a backlog of unresolved offenses. And yes, that’s as unhealthy as it sounds.
Forgiveness isn’t about pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s about choosing not to let the hurt define your future. We forgive not because people always deserve it, but because Jesus forgave us when we didn’t deserve it. Grace doesn’t ignore sin; it overcomes it. That’s the gospel—and it’s also your guide when you’re tempted to keep score.
If you’re going to reflect Jesus, you have to release the junk.
Holding a grudge won’t make you holy—it’ll just make you miserable. Bitterness might feel justified in the moment, but it always costs more than it pays. Ask God to help you drop the weight today and start walking in freedom again.
Reflection Questions:
Who am I still holding a grudge against—and what’s that grudge costing me spiritually, emotionally, or relationally?
What does it look like for me to show kindness and forgiveness to someone who doesn’t deserve it—just like Christ did for me?
Prayer:
Lord, I don’t want to be defined by what others have done to me. I want to be defined by what You’ve done for me. Help me release the bitterness, the grudge, the pain—and instead choose kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Make me more like Christ, who forgave even from the cross. Amen.
Think about it today while you walk in his love and share His grace!
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